


Talk Dirty to Me

by patchwork_panda



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Drabble, M/M, Sort Of Fluff, drunk makeout, handjob, kind of smutty, smut with no plot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-10
Updated: 2015-01-10
Packaged: 2018-03-06 23:33:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3152447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/patchwork_panda/pseuds/patchwork_panda
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inspired by the 1999 drama cd (segment where Kurapika shows up drunk to Leorio's apartment and tries to teach him English) and a doujinshi where Kurapika speaks a lot of Kurta and Leorio has no idea what he's saying.</p><p>One morning, after his most recent job, Kurapika turns up on Leorio's doorstep, drunk off his ass. Leorio had been planning to study some more but Kurapika has some other ideas... Starts off with smut and takes a fluffy-ish turn towards the end.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talk Dirty to Me

**Author's Note:**

> First time writing dude on dude stuff. o w o; I hope this is okay.

On a sunny morning in the middle of spring, Leorio Paradiknight woke with a start to the sound of someone pounding on his front door.

“What the hell...?” he mumbled, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. Whoever it was, they sounded pretty desperate to get his attention. He pulled a piece of paper from his cheek, where it had gotten stuck after he fell asleep at his desk and scowled at the neatly inked notes, now ruined by a smidgen of drool that had collected in the middle. He hastily swiped at the corner of his mouth, put on his glasses and headed for the living room.

“I’m coming, alright?!” he called out as the banging noises intensified with his approach. Now thoroughly irked, he tore open the door and was about to scream obscenities at his unwelcome guest. But when he saw who was standing on his doorstep, his voice abruptly died in his throat.

“Goooood morning, Leorio!” a cheerful blonde in a blue and red tabard sang out, throwing his arms into the air in his excitement.

Or at least that’s what Leorio hoped he’d said. In reality, he couldn’t make heads or tails of the garbled mess of sounds that had come out of Kurapika’s mouth save for his name. What was that language? Kurta?

“Kurapika? What are you doing here?” he asked, scratching his head. “Didn’t you have a job?”

But the younger Hunter didn’t answer him. Instead, he draped his arms over the taller man’s shoulders, mumbled something unintelligible, and planted what could only be described as the biggest, messiest, sloppiest kiss on the baffled medical student’s lips.

Leorio froze. Every last gear in his brain was jammed; his entire reality had just been reduced to the sensation of Kurapika’s soft, soft lips moving against his own. It was only when those lips parted and he tasted something distinctly bitter on the young man’s tongue that it hit Leorio with all the barreling force of a truck.

Kurapika was _drunk_.

“Kurapika?! Hey, what’s going on?” he demanded, hastily pushing the Kurta off of him. Unfortunately, the blonde merely swayed in his grasp and looked up at him with uncharacteristic hurt and confusion in those big gray eyes.

“#@# $# #%?” he asked, his lower lip quivering.

 _Oh shit._ If there was one thing Leorio couldn’t handle, it was a girl who looked like she was going to cry. And this scenario was way too close to that for comfort.

“A-alright, alright. I get it,” he mumbled, rubbing the back of his aching neck. “Hurry up and come in before someone hears you talking like that.”

As soon as the door was closed behind them, Leorio did his best to drag Kurapika, who was unsteady on his feet, in by the arm and force him to sit down on the couch while he got a glass of water.

“Alright, out with it,” Leorio sighed as he settled down next to the teen. “What the hell happened to you? And how did you even get here like that? Tell me in a language I actually understand.”

For a moment, Kurapika didn’t speak. He furrowed his eyebrows and thought carefully as he sipped on his water. Then, he put down his glass and directed an intense stare at his host.

“...Leorio?” he slowly drew out.

“Yes, it’s Leorio! Come on, Kurapika.”

“Leorio,” Kurapika said slowly, letting the syllables roll of his tongue as if he were testing them out for the first time. “Leorio... Leorio...”

Then he burst out laughing. Confused, Leorio could only sit back and watch as the normally stoic Kurapika rolled around on the cushions giggling to himself like a four-year-old who had just learned a bad word.

“What the heck...? Hey, are you even listening to me?”

THUNK.

He hadn’t even seen Kurapika move. But somehow, the blonde was on top of him, straddling his hips and breathing harder than he should be. At once, he felt his face heat up.

“Leorio...” Kurapika whispered, running his thumb over the man’s rapidly warming cheek. There was a subtle, tell-tale red burn around the edges of his irises. Leorio swallowed nervously, a lump beginning to form in his throat. Kurapika may be drunk but his feelings were real. And Leorio would be a liar if he said he had never considered the possibility...

He slipped his hand through that soft blonde hair and watched as the smiling teenager came closer and closer, finally bending forward and closing the distance between them with another kiss. Was this for real? He felt Kurapika’s lips parting and carefully licked the inside of the young man’s lower lip, earning him a slight gasp of surprise. He slowly grazed his teeth over it, tugging it in between his lips and giving it a small suck before releasing him, heart beating fast and searching those beautiful red eyes for a sign.

But he didn’t need to. Within seconds, they were kissing again, tongue and teeth and lips coming together in a frenzied cycle of passion. At some point, Leorio’s tie went missing and his shirt had come undone and the person on top of him (also shirtless by now) was starting to grind against his hips.

“Kurapika...”

He grit his teeth. Obviously, Kurapika wanted this and so did he. But the younger Hunter was drunk, really drunk. What if he regretted this tomorrow morning? He let out a stifled groan as the younger man hit a sweet spot and instantly knew he would be the one suffering later.

“Sorry about this.”

Before Kurapika had a chance to react, Leorio had shoved his hand into the boy’s pants and gripping firmly, started to pump his fist up and down.

“Aah...!”

A flare of hot pink streaked across the blonde’s irises as the sensation hit him. Shaking, he brought his trembling fingers to his lips just as another moan rose out of his throat.

“That’s it...” Leorio whispered, bringing them both up to a sitting position and holding him close. “Just relax and let me take care of you, okay?”

Kurapika didn’t answer. He just pulled Leorio closer and closed his eyes, letting out breathy little gasps whenever the other Hunter did something he liked and laid his head on the taller man’s shoulder. Leorio could feel his hand getting slicker and slicker the more he moved and though the tightness in his pants was becoming all but unbearable, he knew it wouldn’t be a good idea to try anything right now. After all, Kurapika was barely coherent; he hadn’t been able to get anything out of him other than moans and garbled phrases in Kurta.

“...Leorio…”

And of course, his name. He couldn’t help smirking a little at that. He picked up the pace and was rewarded with a high-pitched cry from the boy in his lap, whose eyes were now beginning to burn an intensely bright magenta. He could barely breathe himself. This was quite the privilege. He must be the only person who has ever seen those famous Kurta eyes in such a state. Suddenly, warm, sticky heat burst into his hand and his companion shuddered and collapsed onto his shoulder, instantly asleep. Leorio sighed and leaned back against the pillows, reaching with his clean hand for a nearby box of tissues...

Both his hands finally clean, he carried Kurapika into his own room and laid him in his bed. When he lifted the covers to the blonde’s chin, he finally heard something that he could understand. Smiling peacefully, Kurapika rolled over and whispered the words.

“I love you.”

Several hours later, he heard a scream, followed by several loud curse words from the back room. He sighed and put his textbooks away. They both had some explaining to do.


End file.
